‘Don’t you care?’
Hospitality is a human virtue.
Martha excelled in it. She welcomes Jesus and prepares a meal. Mary instead sits
at the feet of Jesus and listens to him.
While Christ is speaking Mary is
not sleeping. Women know the art of communication through silence, facial
expression, and occasional glance. Where
there is love, there is no need for too many words. Mary is a woman of few
words, easily attached to people, and capable of building deep relationships.
Instead, Martha is busy and
distracted. Though Jesus had no formal degree in Psychology, he was an expert
in analyzing human behavior and very sensitive to people. From the noise of pots
and pans in the kitchen, Jesus knew that Martha is distracted and he could guess
correctly the reason for her distraction. Jesus too is distracted not so much
with Mary but more with Martha. He knows she is upset and annoyed.
Martha is quite the opposite
character of Mary. If she has something to say she says it there and then, no
matter to whom she is speaking. She does not carry it ‘in her heart’ and burdens
herself with it. She waited for Mary to come and help her. When she could no
longer tolerate it, she comes to Jesus and gives vent to her complaint, “Lord
don’t you care?” Martha is direct. There is no holding back. Such words would
never go to a first-time guest. Martha is familiar with Christ therefore she
takes the liberty to give expression to her feelings.
For many of us, the normal
behaviour is to suppress our feelings for the moment and blurt them out a week
or two later when we have a confrontation with our sister or brother. Martha is a woman of the moment. Martha took
the question to the person concerned and avoided a future confrontation with
her sister.
Her question,“Don’t you care”, is
a question for an answer. So many of us in similar situations rather than ask a
question, make a definitive statement and say, “You don’t care”. One is a
question for an answer, the other is a definitive verdict with no place for
doubt. Martha teaches us that what should be put as a question should never be
put as a condemnation.
“Don’t you care?”. The question
is put not only to Christ but also to Mary. It is a question we often put to
those who seem to be not productive and progressing like us. Those who are not
doing, not busy like us. They seem to us as wasting their time, sitting and
daydreaming. ‘Non-workaholics’ seem to us as non-productive members of the society.
We want everyone to be busy like us, doing many things, building bigger barns, and
getting measurable visible results. The
busy ones look down on the silent ones and wonder why can’t they be like them.
“Tell her to help me”.
But Christ is not going to ask
Mary to join Martha. The volume of work, the grade we get, the size of the
buildings we built, and the number of converts we make, is not the criterion
for who is doing better.
If Martha could only pause and
look into the eyes of Jesus after her question! It is for Martha that he came to Bethany. It
is for Martha that he waited so long. It is for Martha that he is on his way to
Jerusalem. He knew every one of her movements in the kitchen. He knows her hurt
feelings and why she is feeling that way. All those who feel burdened,
victimized or overworked like Martha take your complaints to the right source
and pause for a reply from him.
“My sister has left me to do
everything.” Cooking the food was not a burden for Martha. Her burden was her
sister having a good time. If she had not been around all her activities would
have been so light and pleasant. Things have not changed since the time of
Martha. Our problems are not so much the volume of work but rather our brothers
and sisters having an easy time!
“ Martha, Martha you worry and troubled about many
things… only one is needed.” Jesus was waiting for all this while to meet
Martha and tell her how unfounded her suspicions are. Jesus
knows the art of correcting people. He does not do it anonymously, cynically, or
indirectly. He too, like Martha, is direct and particular. Calling the person
twice by name suggests familiarity, love, and concern. What is to be told to
Martha, he tells to Martha and not to Mary, as we do, so often.
To the young man who asked,
“What must I do to have eternal life?” Jesus’ answer was “Keep the
commandments”. Wanting to do something more the young man asked, “ I have kept
all these, what is still lacking?” Jesus answered him, “ Go… sell… give…then
come follow me”.
Hospitality, love for
neighbour, is a sacred commandment. Martha kept the commandments faithfully. Still, there was something lacking. The better
part was chosen by Mary – “ to be with him”. Mark tells us that the apostles
were called ‘to be with him and to be sent out’ (Mk3.13). While apostolate,
mission, and activities are important, the primacy is, “to be with him”.
Martha is like most of us,
fully human - acting, feeling, saying, behaving as we do so often. She is a
good housekeeper. She welcomes guests to her house, but she does not have too
much time for them. She is warm and hospitable.
She knows her position and duties in her house. She is practical and gets
things done. She is also a woman with her share of jealousy and envy. She feels
responsible for her sister and is distracted and disturbed seeing her in the
company of a guest. What is best in Martha is her warmth, hospitality,
activism, direct talk, sincerity, talking it out there and then, taking the
problem to the source where she can find an answer.
It is difficult for ‘Marthas’ to understand
how ‘Marys’ have the ‘better part’. It is difficult to explain with quotes and arguments. Only experience and not explanations can teach
one the joy of ‘ being with him’. Mary
has discovered the answer to Martha’s question, “Do you not care?”
- Fr
T.V.Georgesdb
