‘Don’t you 

      care?’

Hospitality is a human virtue. Martha excelled in it. She welcomes Jesus and prepares a meal. Mary instead sits at the feet of Jesus and listens to him.

While Christ is speaking Mary is not sleeping. Women know the art of communication through silence, facial expression, and occasional glance.  Where there is love, there is no need for too many words. Mary is a woman of few words, easily attached to people, and capable of building deep relationships.

Instead, Martha is busy and distracted. Though Jesus had no formal degree in Psychology, he was an expert in analyzing human behavior and very sensitive to people. From the noise of pots and pans in the kitchen, Jesus knows that Martha is distracted and he could guess correctly the reasons for her distraction. Jesus too is distracted not so much with Mary but more with Martha. He knows she is upset and annoyed.

Martha is quite the opposite character of Mary. If she has something to say she says it there and then, no matter with whom she is speaking. She does not carry it ‘in her heart’ and burdens herself with it. She waited for Mary to come and help her. When she could no longer tolerate it, she comes to Jesus and gives vent to her complaint, “Lord don’t you care?” Martha is direct. There is no holding back. Such words would never go to a first-time guest. Martha is familiar with Christ therefore she takes the freedom to give expression to her feelings.  

The normal behavior for many of us is to suppress our feelings for the moment and blurt them out a week or two later when we have a confrontation with our sister or brother.  Martha is a woman of the moment. Martha took the question to the person concerned and avoided a future confrontation with her sister. 

Her question, “Don’t you care”, is a question for an answer. So many of us in similar situations rather than ask a question, make a definitive statement and say, “You don’t care”. One is a question for an answer, the other is a definitive verdict with no place for doubt. Martha teaches us what should be put as a question should never be put as a condemnation.

“Don’t you care?”. The question is put not only to Christ but also to Mary. It is a question we often put to those who seem to be not productive and progressing like us. Those who are not doing, not busy like us, seem to us as wasting their time, sitting and daydreaming.  ‘Non-workaholics’ seem to us as non-productive members of society. We want everyone to be busy like us, doing many things, building bigger barns, and getting measurable visible results.  The busy ones look down on the silent ones and wonder why can’t they be like them. “Tell her to help me”.

But Christ is not going to ask Mary to join Martha. The volume of work, the grade we get, the size of the buildings we built, and the number of converts we make, is not the criterion for who is doing better. 

 If Martha could only pause and look into the eyes of Jesus after her question!  It is for Martha that he came to Bethany. It is for Martha that he waited so long. It is for Martha that he is on his way to Jerusalem. He knew every one of her movements in the kitchen. He knows her hurt feelings and why she is feeling that way. All those who feel they are burdened, victimized or overworked like Martha take your complaints to the right source and pause for a reply from him.

“My sister has left me to do everything.” Cooking the food was not a burden for Martha. Her burden was her sister having a good time. If she had not been around all her activities would have been so light and pleasant. Things have not changed since the time of Martha. Our problems are not so much the volume of work but rather our brothers and sisters having an easy time! 

“ Martha,  Martha you worry and troubled about many things… only one is needed.” Jesus was waiting for all this while to meet Martha and tell her how unfounded her suspicions and troubles are.  Jesus knows the art of correcting people. He does not do it anonymously, cynically, or indirectly. He too like Martha is direct and particular. Calling the person twice by name suggests familiarity, love, and concern. What is to be told to Martha, he tells to Martha and not to Mary, as we do so often.

To the young man who asked, “What must I do to have eternal life?” Jesus’ answer was “Keep the commandments”. Wanting to do something more the young man asked, “ I have kept all these, what is still lacking?” Jesus answered him, “ Go… sell… give…then come follow me”.

 Hospitality is a sacred commandment. Martha kept the commandments faithfully.  Still, there was something lacking. The better part was chosen by Mary – “ to be with him”. Mark tells us that the apostles were called ‘to be with him and to be sent out’ (Mk3.13). While apostolate, mission, and activity are important, the primacy is, “to be with him”.

 Martha is like most of us, fully human - acting, feeling, saying, behaving as we do so often. She is a good housekeeper. She welcomes guests to her house, but she does not have too much time for them.  She is warm and hospitable. She knows her position and duties in her house. She is practical and gets things done. She is also a woman with her share of jealousy and envy. She feels responsible for her sister and is distracted and disturbed seeing her in the company of a guest. What is best in Martha is her warmth, hospitality, activism, direct talk, sincerity, talking it out there and then, taking the problem to the source where she can find an answer.

  It is difficult for ‘Marthas’ to understand how Mary has the ‘better part’. It is difficult to explain with quotes and arguments.  Only experience and not explanations can teach one the joy of ‘ being with him’.  Mary has found the answer to Martha’s question, “Do you not care?”

               -    Fr T.V.George sdb