“
Someone who has dipped his hand into the dish
with me will betray me” Mt.26:19
In the forty years I have been a priest, I believe, I have mostly been
homebound, presbytery bound, obeyed, worked hard, not wandered very far, stayed mostly close to
the house, close to the altar. I have not been a rebel, or squandered the
property of my institute. Jesus’ words disturb me because he says someone close
to him, who eats bread with him, dips hands into the dish with him, will betray him.
‘Am I the one?’
During our long journey of life
we come across so many people. The great majority we don’t bother, they come
for a while and go like the ones we meet in the market. But there are those few
who are close to us, with whom we spent time, we party with, with whom we share
our joys and sorrows. They know us well. We know them too. We share some common
secrets. If one of these betrays us we
feel it terribly. The closer we are to a person, the more the hurt.
I remember some time back a friend of mine so angry and upset with me
because I have not contacted him for some time. He had a rough time the last
few years. I did not bother to find out
how he is or where he is. He was angry because he thought I left him alone
during his painful moments. The closer we are the greater the expectation, the
more the pain of betrayal.
Christ must have been very close to Judas. Judas was the guardian of the
finance of the group. Such a job needs a
lot of trust and confidence. Perhaps Mathew was better qualified for the job,
yet Judas got the job. No doubt he was
very close to the Lord. He had a privileged place at the Last Supper. They were
close to each other, sharing bread together. Jesus felt betrayed that Judas
could share the meal with such a straight face and a cynical smile. Judas was a
good actor. When he went out of the
room, others thought he had gone out to
do some urgent task. Since Christ and Judas shared a special friendship no one
bothered even to find out.
It is not that those far from us don’t betray or speak against us. They
do. But we are not much bothered. But those close to us, when they do, we feel
it. It is those close to the altar, close to the master, professed to imitate
and love him, who hurt him most.
The friends of the king, hurt him much when they did not come for the
marriage of his son. The words of the elder son hurt the father more because he
was with him and should have known him better. Where there is love only, there
can be hurts. Christ loved Judas. So he felt hurt. A friend who could share the
same meal, and celebrated the same party, could in the same night, turn to be a
betrayer! Peter too, turned out to be a betrayer. While Peter denied on the
spur of the moment to save his skin, Judas’ action was premeditated and
schemed. He even looked to gain
something out of it.
‘What will you give me?’ How we continue to look for some gain from the
position, the trust, the job we are entrusted with? For some gain, few coins,
for little more influence and name, for greater circle of friends and company, we continue to betray. Money
corrupts, betrays, and kills. And finally, it will turn on us and claim us too.
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Fr T.V.
George sdb
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