Aggressor to Apostle.

 ( Conversion of St.Paul)

Saul’s conversion did not come about with a fall from a horse, but rather his conversion was triggered with a few drops of blood of Stephen as he was being stoned to death. Saul heard the prayer said by  Stephen as he was dying, “Lord do not hold this sin against them.” Saul was infuriated by the power of Stephen’s witness, “I can see the Son of Man at the right hand of God”. The serenity that glowed on Stephen’s face, the blood that may have spilled on him as he guarded the clothes of those who stoned Stephen, and the prayer of Stephen for his enemies may well have been the starting point of the restlessness in another equally zealous, enthusiastic young man called Saul.

Saul was not ready yet. It is said that the night is darkest just before the dawn. Angry, upset, with himself more than with others, Saul let loose once again all his fury and fire, “to slaughter the Lord’s disciples”. Focused on the destruction of those who followed ‘the Way’, with power and authority, he rode tall and strong to Damascus.

 To see a light and to hear a voice from heaven, one needs to be tuned to it. The light and the voice are there for everyone who can see and hear. There are some who see but do not perceive and others who hear but do not understand. Like St Augustine, one needs to experience the restlessness and the dark night of the soul before one can see the light. Or like Mother Teresa who heard a ‘Call within a Call’ as she journeyed for her retreat because she had heard the cry of the poor in the slums, and seen the blood in the communal violence on the streets. Saul was prepared to see the light and hear the voice because he had seen the serenity on the face of Stephen and heard his prayer for his enemies.   

It is Paul who rises from the mud and the dirt after the fall from the horseback. The death of Stephen had prepared Saul to become Paul. The fire and fury, that he breathed on the Lord’s disciples is not lost in the new Paul but is purified and rechanneled at the service of the Lord’s disciples.

The question is often asked when confronted with adverse situations or persecuted for one’s faith what should one’s response be? Take up the sword as Peter did in the garden of Gethsemane, or offer the other cheek as Christ suggested? The death of Stephen and the Conversion of Saul to Paul can shed some light on the course of action one can take. Taking up the sword would be foolishness for the persecutors far outnumber the persecuted. Offering the other cheek may be a better option. A few drops of blood, the serenity and glow on one’s face, the courageous witness in front of adversaries, a prayer for one’s persecutors may prove to be the best solution. It can turn the persecutors into disciples.

 God is in control of the history of every nation. Any day he can turn the Sauls into Pauls,  persecutors into disciples, the ‘saffron senas’  into followers of the Way, all he needs is a few ardent passionate witnesses like Stephen, a restless seeking repentant seeker  St Augustine, or a Mother Teresa who can hear and has the courage to follow a ‘Call within a Call’. Compromising one’s faith, adapting to the ways of the persecutor, or attempting only to provide bread for the oppressors, or becoming a persecutor yourself is not a long-term solution. One death is enough for Saul to become Paul, one Paul is enough for pagan nations to turn to God, one persecuted person with a serene face, and a prayer for his enemies on his lips, is enough for the persecutors to become disciples, for aggressors to become Apostles.

                                                                                -Fr. T.V. George sdb